50 Wrongs for Prongs in a Ball
by Charmed Ravenclaw
Summary: From the nutty author of 50 Wrongs for Prongs in a Date comes 50 Wrongs for Prongs in a Ball! There are only two hours until graduation and James is worrying about his hair. Guess what that leads to...


**End of school year, 1971 **

"Can you believe it?" Sirius yelled.

"Believe what?" James asked.

"We've finished school!"

"Sirius, we've got a good six years to go until school is over for us; I don't think you should be celebrating yet," Remus said.

"Oh."

**Three years later… **

"Whoo hoo! We've halfway finished school!" Sirius yelled.

"Sirius, we're only in our fourth year. Start the countdown later," Peter laughed.

"Fine," Sirius grouched.

**Three years later… **

"Can I start counting down now?" Sirius asked.

"Sure, whatever," everyone else replied. Considering that they were now dressing up for their Final Year Ball right now, one might find starting to count down quite pointless seeing as there was only one more night and then Boom! They were out of here!

"How sexy do I look?"

"Not that I would know seeing as I'm straight, but to keep your great ego up, you look very sexy," Remus answered without sparing a glance as he flipped through his playboy magazine. He sighed – the girls were wearing far too much clothing.

"Sirius, will you stop sticking the butt at the mirror, I think you're traumatising it," James commented.

"Too right you are," the mirror agreed. "You boy! Comb your hair!" it barked at James.

James pressed down on his hair as hard as he could. Boing! It sprung straight back up again. He did it again. Boing! Same result. He pressed his hands down on his hair really hard this time. In fact, his face was going red with the effort. It stayed flat on his head.

"Ah," James sighed in relie – Boing!

"You just did that to screw with me, didn't you?" he cursed at his hair. Everyone gave him a weird look, including Sirius whose butt was still aimed at the mirror.

"Prongs, are you ok? Haven't you ever heard of using a comb?" Remus asked.

"Pfft. Like that'd work." James recalled the time he tried a comb in order to impress Evans. That didn't go so well.

_"Potter, what are you doing with a comb stuck in your hair?" she had asked._

"_Don't you think it looks cool?" James asked hopefully. Then he muttered under his breath, "Damn you and your stupid ideas Sirius." _

"_It wasn't that stupid of an idea!" Sirius protested. "It's what normal people do to impress girls! See, it says so in chapter four of my book!" _

Well, in the end things had turned out ok. After much persuasion Lily did go out with him, despite the many hiccups. Fortunately, they had managed to stay together to even celebrate their graduation. Which, James thought, was very lucky.

"I'm pretty sure, a comb might work if we used some potion with it," Sirius said.

"Sirius, graduation is an hour away, we don't have time to create a potion," Remus pointed out.

"Pfft. Who said anything about making one? Honestly, you are never prepared for anything." Sirius took out a box that said, "The Idiot's Guide to Dealing with Potter Hair!" and took out a potion.

"Erm Sirius, are you sure that's safe?" Peter asked.

"Of course it is. Are you saying my potion making is crap?"

"Um… no."

"Okay, it's settled then!" Sirius said and began splashing it onto James' hair.

** In the girl's dorm…**

"Oh my GAWD! What am I going to wear!" Lily panicked.

"Lily calmed down, it's just a stain."

"My ball gown is ruined!"

"It's just a little spot – "

"WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!" she wailed.

"Try calming down," Alice suggested.

"But there's a spot on my dress. A spot!"

"Lily, it's the size of your fingernail, no one is going to notice!"

"Yes they will!"

"Oh Lily you stupid git just get rid of it with magic!" Alice snapped and with a wave of her wand the red stain on Lily's blood red gown was gone. Lily blushed.

"Thanks Alice."

"Your welcome. Besides, I don't think James would notice or care anyway. He's too infatuated with you."

"True."

**Speaking of James… **

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Sirius! What have you done!"

"Hmm, must have been a bit too much beetroot," Sirius said examining it.

"You idiot!" James grabbed, "The Idiot's Guide to Dealing with Potter Hair!" and swung it at him. Sirius quickly pocketed the potion and ducked, but he needn't have bothered; James missed by a long shot; his long floppy, rapidly growing hair was getting in the way.

"Calm down James! I'm sure this can be fixed!" Remus yelled trying to spare Sirius from the horrible wrath of a Potter.

"How! There is only two more hours until graduation!"

"Erm… Madam Pomfrey!" Remus declared and off they went.

Lots of shrieks of "Aaaaahhh!" and "What's that thing!" followed them everywhere. One particular idiot tried to be a hero and save them all from James but Remus kept him at bay with the simple flick of his wrist.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Madam Pomfrey said when they arrived. "You should have brought him straight to me!"

"Erm, we did," Sirius said.

"I think he has contracted some sort of horrible disease. Most likely the relative of spattergoit, makkerdoit," Madam Pomfrey continued as if she never heard them.

"Actually, Sirius just screwed up a potion and poured it onto his head."

"Ah. I see. Well, I'm really sorry James, but in order to prevent the spread of disease and save your life, I'm going to have to amputate your head. I know it's a life-changing thing, but I'm pretty sure you'd adapt. Just talk to Nearly-Headless Nick," Madam Pomfrey said and grabbed a chainsaw.

"NO!" all three boys yelled.

"Can't you just give me a potion that will reduce the hair growth?" James asked meekly.

"Fine. But I tell you, that won't be nearly as effective as amputation. Don't come running back to me if you contract the disease again," Madam Pomfrey grouched.

"Or if Sirius pours some more screwed up potion on his head," Remus smirked.

**And for those who are wondering what was going on the girl's side… **

"Who stole my lipstick!" Alice yelled.

"Don't worry, you look stunning without it. You look like an angel who fell from heaven."

"Yeah, yeah, don't bother giving me that bulldust. Someone took my lipstick. It was you, wasn't it Lily?"

"Erm… I think my cat might have had something to do with it."

They stared at her lazy cat Amber. Amber stared back at them. _Cough_. A hairball came out. Along with some hairy lipstick.

Alice gave Lily the evils. "You owe me some new lipstick."

**Meanwhile… **

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! My hair! Where'd it go!"

"Well I poured on potion to stop it from growing, that's all. Must have poured a tad too much," Madam Pomfrey said.

"I'm bald!" James yelled into the mirror. It cracked.

"Hee hee! Prongs is a baldy!" Sirius laughed and petted his head.

"Madam Pomfrey, isn't there a potion you can use to make his hair grow back?" Remus asked.

"Pfft. If there was such thing, then all the balding old men would be using it."

"So you're saying there's no cure for what you've done to me!" James yelled.

"It'll grow back." James looked hopeful. Then she said, "In time."

"Wait a minute! I have an idea!" Sirius cried and ran out.

"What's he up to?" James asked a while later when he still hadn't returned.

"Whatever it is, it's probably not good for you," Remus said.

**So what was Sirius up to**

"Peter! Do you know where that potion I used is?" Sirius asked.

"Well, you see the thing is, I tripped, and…" Peter trailed off.

Sirius caught sight of his emergency make-up kit. A glass phial rolled off the bed and smashed on top of the rest of the mess Peter had left there.

"Peter you idiot!" Sirius yelled and charged back downstairs where he spotted Frank yelling for his girlfriend. "Alice! Hurry up!"

"You can't rush perfection!" she yelled. Then she came running downstairs. "You don't happen to have any lipstick do you?"

Frank stared. "What makes you think I would have lipstick?"

She turned to Sirius. "Do you have any lipstick?"

"I may be a pretty boy but I haven't gone to the extent of using lipstick," Sirius answered, quite miffed.

"Alice, just forget it and let's go already!" Lily shouted.

"Oh fine!" Alice yelled back and all three of them left the tower.

**Back at the hospital wing… **

James chewed on the thermometer and flipped it around in his mouth. He was bored. Remus had left a while ago to do something and Madam Pomfrey insisted he'd stay here.

"Madam Pomfrey, can I go now?" he asked for the four hundred and twenty-seventh time.

"No Mr. Potter. It would be too risky. Now that you have no hair you would risk getting sunburnt out there."

"But it's night time!"

"Sorry Mr. Potter. I refuse to take chances."

"I can't believe he broke my make-up kit! Stupid little…" someone grumbled outside of the hospital wing. At first James thought it might have been a girl since the word, "make-up" was used but it turned out he was wrong when Sirius came storming in.

"Do you know what Peter did! He broke my god damn make-up kit!"

"So? Look at what you did to my hair!" James snapped.

"Well excuse me, but I was going to get a potion to help you for that. However, seeing as you're so mad at me, I guess I won't bother."

"Hold on a second! Did you say something about fixing my hair?"

"Yeah but since Peter broke all the potions in there I guess there's no hope of that."

"Were you thinking about that potion you used to make my hair grow?"

"Yeah."

"Didn't you pocket that?"

Sirius checked his pocket. Indeed he did. Quickly, behind Madam Pomfrey's back, he splashed it onto James' head.

**For those who were wondering what was going on the other side… **

"Erm, hi," Frank said nervously to the crowd in the Great Hall. Everyone stared up at him. "The ball will start in a moment, once the head boy arrives. Which should be any minute now."

Silence. Cough. Blow nose. Silence. Cricket chirp. Tumbleweed. Silence. Silence. Silence.

"I'm sure he's coming, any minute now," Frank repeated. He stood there awkwardly on stage for another moment or so…

"He's here!" Remus whispered and pointed in James and Sirius' direction. Everyone swivelled around.

"What? Does my hair look that bad? Or has it got something to do with my teeth? It's my teeth, isn't it?" James asked.

"No, you've got to go dance with the Head Girl in order to initiate the ball, remember?" Sirius said.

"Oh yeah!" James said and searched for Lily. However, she found him.

"There you are, we were all wondering where you had gotten up to!" she said and grabbed his hand to dance before he could fully register her beauty.

Someone turned on the music. The speakers blared out, "Ceeeeelebrate good times, come on! Let's celebra – "

"Oops, my bad," the DJ said and switched the track to appropriate ballroom music.

James and Lily swirled about on the dance floor as everyone else watched in amazement. After a while a few others gained the courage to get out there and James and Lily began their private conversation.

"What took you so long?" Lily snapped.

"Er… I was doing my hair."

Lily looked at his hair. It looked as messy as ever. "Sure you were. It's funny how guys always complain about girls who take forever to do their hair but they take even longer!"

James had nothing to say against that so he settled for enjoying the moment and they danced the night away.

**End of year, 1998 **

Harry sat alone in the boy's dormitory and flipped through the photo album Hagrid had given him. He gazed for a while at a picture of his father when he was seventeen. He smiled and turned the page.

This must be a graduation picture, because James and the other boys were wearing dress robes. Sirius kept jutting his bottom at a mirror. What the? He turned the page. There was something very wrong with this picture – James had no hair. Next to it was a picture of his mother yelling at a cat. Huh? Then there was one of the ball where James and Lily were dancing. Right after it was a picture of them tripping. Harry grinned and set aside the photo album.

"Harry, you ready yet?" Ginny yelled.

"Nearly! Just doing my hair!" Harry yelled back and took out a potion…

**A/N: OK, I was going to send this for the Writer's duel but I was too late. By a minute! Sigh. Ah well. I was also considering this as a final chapter for 50 Wrongs for Prongs but then I changed my mind – it wasn't up to the random standard and I wasn't to sure whether it would fit in by the time I got up to the final chapter anyway. Hope you enjoyed! Oh, and if you haven't read 50 Wrongs for Prongs in a Date yet, I advise you do – it's even more crazy and random than this one. **


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